Heroes in a Half Shell

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My next piece for Collector’s Gazette is about the history of Teenage Mutant Ninja/Hero Turtles toys. So of course the inevitable has happened. I have the Revoltech set on the way as well. SIGH. Still, they look absolutely awesome. I have now entered what will be a protracted phase of resisting the undoubtedly amazing but also very, very expensive NECA 1990 1/4 Scale Movie Turtle replicas.

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What to Expect When Your Custody Case Goes to Court

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My third piece for BLB is live. I shall admit that I was completely unprepared for how writing it would effect me. I had not appreciated quite how much of the detail of what we all went through I had buried away, and digging it up was quite a harrowing experience. It’s made me realise that I’m most definitely in no way at peace with it all. I’m not sure whether that means I need to explore the impact of everything in a therapeutic setting, or whether our brain rightly suppresses such things for a reason. At the very least I hope the article may help others in a similar situation.

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Birthday Bots

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I have now fiddled with my birthday bots. I’m a lucky boy. (Fanshobby Gunfighter was actually a purchase, but as he turned up on my birthday, he felt present-y.) My knee-jerk not-influenced-by-the-fact-that-these-are-warmly-appreciated-gifts assessments:

  • Fanshobby Feilong: Chunky fucker with slightly shitty feet, but he feels really unlike any other 3P Masterpiece and oozes character. Dragons FTW.
  • Fanshobby Gunfighter: Again, chunky, with two great modes, but simplistic to the point that I look at the price and raise an eyebrow suspiciously. Very low part count for a £100+ bot.
  • Maketoys Rioter Despotron: Yeah, this guy’s the business, though the bot is definitely stronger than the gun, however.
  • Badcube Speedbump: Both modes are rock solid (unlike Lorry where I thought both modes were compromised), and the build quality is great but that transformation can get fucked. That backpack. Seriously, I’m so over Badcube. Same story every time.

On a side note, I’ve now handled Badcube and MMC Trailbreaker, and Badcube and XTB Hoist. They all have pros and cons but none of them nail it. I think I preferred MMC Trailbreaker and, astonishingly, I’d probably go for XTB for Hoist (as fucked as parts of the design are). But all of them will go the moment Takara announces theirs.

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Transformers: The Last Knight is shite? I’m SHOCKED

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I mean, who could have seen that coming?

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In the many debates I’ve had about the Bayverse films (although ultimately we need no debate – I don’t like them, you might do, that’s fine) the reaction I often get is “but just enjoy them for the mindless romps that they are”. The insinuation being that I’m snobbish about them for lacking intellectual depth.

But that’s not it at all. There are many, many wonderful shallow action films, but the Bayverse films are not that. Shallowness is not the problem. They are just horrible. The action is aimless. The characters are vacuous. The plot are pointless. The visuals are ugly. I really can’t find a single positive thing to say about them. I actively hate them.

The same can be said of other series too, of course, but I don’t care about other series. I DO care about Transformers, and it breaks my heart. I yearn to enjoy them.