Lots of folks on my timeline are very excited about the new Bumblebee trailer this morning. I certainly concede that it doesn’t look very Bay, which is of course a wonderful thing. I also acknowledge that the robot design’s styling leans more towards G1 (he’s a Beetle!) than the wretched Bay aesthetic. At the same time, my relationship with the live-action Transformers movieverse is so deeply wounded after the horrors of the Bay movies that it will take more than a trailer for a new film looking less Bay-like for me to be able to assume any position of positivity.
But, yeah, of course I hope it’s good. I want to enjoy Transformers films because I love Transformers. And I love films. I don’t enjoy hating Transformers films. And I don’t enjoy the polarising effect they’ve had on the fandom.
I mean, who could have seen that coming?
In the many debates I’ve had about the Bayverse films (although ultimately we need no debate – I don’t like them, you might do, that’s fine) the reaction I often get is “but just enjoy them for the mindless romps that they are”. The insinuation being that I’m snobbish about them for lacking intellectual depth.
But that’s not it at all. There are many, many wonderful shallow action films, but the Bayverse films are not that. Shallowness is not the problem. They are just horrible. The action is aimless. The characters are vacuous. The plot are pointless. The visuals are ugly. I really can’t find a single positive thing to say about them. I actively hate them.
The same can be said of other series too, of course, but I don’t care about other series. I DO care about Transformers, and it breaks my heart. I yearn to enjoy them.